| Better than mad libs |
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| 04:56pm 03/12/2006 |
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Today's Spam:
(a few clicks of the space bar and it poetry!)
Furthermore,
a mortician hesitates,
and a grain of sand is a big
fan of the bartender toward
the senator.
For example,
a raspy
grand
piano
indicates that the tornado
beyond the burglar
secretly admires
the tomato near a pig pen
Casey's Canadians did
rodeo clowns and police! |
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| 12:56pm 03/12/2006 |
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Will someone please explain why GMail always puts this ad up when I'm checking my e-mail?
NY Eyelid Surgery-Dr Kwan - www.AsianSurgery.com - Preserving Asian Identity Through Cosmetic Surgery
Also- the best response we got from potential subletters... I thought this was real until we got three more "my parents died" e-mails. Well, if they're going to try and scam me, I'm glad they're entertaining me as well.
Hey there,
Am Beteny Brooks 25 yrs old born in Montreal,Canada.I attended University of Montreal and i finished my course early last year and graduated as a photographer My mum died when she was about to gave birth to me and i never knew my mum....i only see her in pictures and often in dreams my Father died in an auto accident couples of years ago when he was coming back from Work,this was the sorrowfull and painfull moment of my life.So since my Father demise,i have decided to be a very good person in life and also a very religious person so i drew closer to God.My dad was born in Oxnard california and i once visted oxnard when i was 16 and i planned to relocate back to the United States Of America cos america makes some one to be very Good and smarter in work...So i planned to relocate back to Us from Canada cos it is where my Parents were born.Am always a busy person and i do my business internationally..i do photographing for governors and prime mininsters and my first trip this year was to united kingdom and i currently moved down to nigeria in west africa some days ago and am currently in victoria island lagos now for a bussiness trip...Am also telling you all this cos you sound like a very honest and trustworthy person.Africa is one of the best in arts and crafts....it indeed a loving place to live since have been for some days now and i will relocating back to the states before Xmas & New Year and i saw the advert about your Room or appt and am sincerely intrested in it.
Isn't that amazing? |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| found joy |
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| 12:56pm 03/12/2006 |
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Will someone please explain why GMail always puts this ad up when I'm checking my e-mail?
NY Eyelid Surgery-Dr Kwan - www.AsianSurgery.com - Preserving Asian Identity Through Cosmetic Surgery
Also- the best response we got from potential subletters... I thought this was real until we got three more "my parents died" e-mails. Well, if they're going to try and scam me, I'm glad they're entertaining me as well.
Hey there,
Am Beteny Brooks 25 yrs old born in Montreal,Canada.I attended University of Montreal and i finished my course early last year and graduated as a photographer My mum died when she was about to gave birth to me and i never knew my mum....i only see her in pictures and often in dreams my Father died in an auto accident couples of years ago when he was coming back from Work,this was the sorrowfull and painfull moment of my life.So since my Father demise,i have decided to be a very good person in life and also a very religious person so i drew closer to God.My dad was born in Oxnard california and i once visted oxnard when i was 16 and i planned to relocate back to the United States Of America cos america makes some one to be very Good and smarter in work...So i planned to relocate back to Us from Canada cos it is where my Parents were born.Am always a busy person and i do my business internationally..i do photographing for governors and prime mininsters and my first trip this year was to united kingdom and i currently moved down to nigeria in west africa some days ago and am currently in victoria island lagos now for a bussiness trip...Am also telling you all this cos you sound like a very honest and trustworthy person.Africa is one of the best in arts and crafts....it indeed a loving place to live since have been for some days now and i will relocating back to the states before Xmas & New Year and i saw the advert about your Room or appt and am sincerely intrested in it.
Isn't that amazing? |
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| Oh shit oh shit oh shit |
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| 11:32pm 11/10/2006 |
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That was my brandon smith impression, in case anyone missed it.
I got the job. I start the 24th.
Now I just need to:
find an apartment
weed through my belongings
find a way to get there
and get there. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Oh thank god... |
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| 04:59pm 17/08/2006 |
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it's just serving pizza, but it's a job, which means maybe I can stop mooching cigarettes off my mom.
That was a nice little couplet, huh? |
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| yippee! |
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| 05:45pm 28/06/2006 |
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Finally, all that cover-letter-editing has paid off and someone wants to interview me.
Send good "goddamn-hire-this-girl" vibes Friday at 10AM- Puh-lease.
I am tired of being a slacker. It's not all it's cracked out to be.
Oh, and read Lipshitz Six by T Cooper. I read over two-hundred pages this morning without even noticing, it's really good. |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| What happened to Andrae? |
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| 03:49pm 24/06/2006 |
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Project Runway marathon.
I'm set for the day.
fuck pride and corndogarama and athfest and all the other shit I should be doing.
All I need is Tim Gunn. |
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| 01:51am 20/06/2006 |
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Moxie just got stuck in my mesh laundry bag.
Watching her struggle was definately the best part of my day.
I may kill my cats. |
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| What my brother really thinks of Sara... |
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| 10:36pm 10/01/2006 |
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From his South American Travel Blog-
" Along wiht them was some spanish speaking man, who looked like a carribbean Atonio Banderex character with a hot wife who kinda looked like ariels room mate latin remixed." |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| 03:57pm 04/11/2005 |
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SSN is over- thank god...
NeoFuturists and drunkeness tonight, then loads of work... but it'll all be okay because I found this today (From Kevin Federlines single, "Y'All Ain't Ready"):
Back then they called me K-Fed
But you can call me Daddy instead
Go ahead and say whatcha wanna
I'm gonna sell about 2 mil, oh, then I'm a goner
I know you all wish you was in my position
Cause I keep getting' in situations that you wish you was in, cousin
Steppin' in this game and y'all ain't got a clue
Getting anxious? Go take a peep
I'm starrin' in your magazines now every day and week
But maybe baby you can wait and see
Until then all these Pavarottis followin' me."
Oh man, I knew he was stupid, but who was the idiot producer that let him confuse 'pavarotti' and paprazzi'? |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| The end is nigh... |
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| 11:59am 09/10/2005 |
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A Tsunami, a massive hurricane, an earthquake and the avian flu.
anyone else think the world might end before I get a chance to graduate? |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| 05:54pm 21/09/2005 |
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MASH is going to consume my life. |
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| sweet! |
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| 09:04pm 25/08/2005 |
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John Waters
Your film will be 69% romantic, 49% comedy, 31% complex plot, and a $ 27 million budget.
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Filmography: Hairspray, Cry Baby, Pecker, A Dirty Shame, Serial Mom, Polyester, Pink Flamingos, Female Trouble, Mondo Trasho, and more. Hopefully your entire life happened in Baltimore, Maryland, because that is where your life story will take place with John Waters at the helm. Your mother will be played either by a large transvestite or Kathleen Turner ... oh, the levels of irony! Anyway, we hope your life was full of pleasant scents because your movie will be released in Smell-O-Vision like his movie Polyester (1981), but will likely not have any dog-poop-eating such as in Pink Flamingos (1972). Johnny Depp will play your uncle.
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender
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You scored higher than 88%
on action-romance
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You scored higher than 96%
on humor
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You scored higher than 28%
on complexity
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You scored higher than 40%
on budget
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| Listen |
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| 01:59pm 20/06/2005 |
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Dudes-
This is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time. Listen to the last ten minutes, it's a woman reading from her 13-year-old diaries.
Jeez, I wish I still had those.
I especially wish I hadn't destroyed the 'erotica' I wrote in seventh grade... sigh...
http://www.thislife.org/pages/descriptions/04/268.html |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| over so soon |
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| 07:21pm 01/05/2005 |
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I was just sitting on Wilder porch, smoking, when it started raining. A rainbow appeared, as if bursting from King. I watched as people noticed it, and stood there smiling, just looking at this unmoving, unexpected flash of color in the otherwise grey sky. About a dozen people walked out of Wilder, just to see it. And then they smiled.
And then it was gone.
I'll try not to read too much into that. |
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